Change of Heart
by Bexx-95
Summary: Leah's been through a lot these past few years. So when life decides to throw in an impossible romance, she's ready to give up. But can she resist?
1. Back to Normality

**A story from my old account, which I wasn't really happy with so I changed it. Written because there aren't enough Leah & Benjamin fics out there.**

It felt good to be back in La Push after months of reeking vampires, nice to breathe clean air. I couldn't remember the last time that I'd been vamp free, which was kind of scary. Course, it wasn't so good having to be back with Sam, especially since the whole two packs thing was sorted out and we could all communicate again. So now I've got two sets of voices in my head. One involves a loved up idiot and an annoying brother and the other, a whole bunch of loved up idiots and a very annoying Sam. I'm not really sure which one's worse. And then, just to add insult to injury, Jacob had told Sam everything I'd told him. It's not like he did it accidently either. The pack may be able to communicate again but now it's like talking. We choose what we want to say or want the others to know, it's not just a random blurt of thoughts.

_Leah? Did you hear me? _Sam's voice broke through my internal monologue.

_Sorry, what?_

_I said I wanted to talk to you. About, you know...what Jacob told me._

Oh shit. He wanted to have 'the talk'. It's bad enough having to do that with any ex-boyfriend, let alone a wolf that majorly screwed up our relationship by imprinting on my second cousin who was practically my sister. Okay, so maybe that wasn't entirely fair, it's not like he could help it. But I still hated him for it, uncontrollably. And of course loved him. Not that I was about to go spreading that around although I was pretty sure the whole damn world already knew.

_Look, can we do this some other time? I'm all out on the chick flick moments right now._

I could tell that he was about to protest, then something stopped him. I was going to asked what but thought better of it; he could change his mind at any moment. It was strange how comfortable I'd gotten patrolling with him again. Now that we could choose when to communicate, a silence settled over the both of us. Not exactly awkward yet definitely not comfortable.

_Hey guys, what's going on? _Great. Nobody told me Paul was patrolling today. There goes that beautiful moment of silence.

_Leah, now Paul's here you don't have to patrol for the rest of the day. _When Sam said that, I almost smashed into a tree with surprise. A whole afternoon of me? How long had it been since time was my own? _You can go check up on Jacob instead, it shouldn't take long._

I stopped dead at that. Sam was assuming that I would use the afternoon off, the first afternoon off in God knows how long, to check up on how Jacob was doing? Yeah, we'd gotten close and maybe even bonded a little after that whole split into two packs thing but seriously.

_You know what Sam? Jacob's a big boy, I'm sure that he can look after himself._

_If you go check on him I'll give you tomorrow off _Sam tried to bargain. I paused for a moment.

_Make it the whole week and you've got a deal._

I was close enough to him now to hear the huff of breath that he let out, which I took to mean that we had a deal. After that I didn't waste time. Pushing off in the opposite direction that I'd originally been going in, I began to navigate my way through the trees towards the river that would bring me round to the Cullen's. I had always hated their house and not just because it stunk of leech and was full of the undead. No, it was just so impersonal. Stark white walls, thousand dollar price tag couches, a gleaming granite kitchen which was never used. Even the bedrooms (which I had Jacob sneak round before), which were apparently filled with hundreds of years worth of memorabilia seemed to be little more than a classy showroom.

I much preferred my own house, though it was tiny. Mom always seemed to be in the kitchen cooking dinner or baking something delicious with Seth sat at the table with all his schoolbooks propped around him, studying hard. I remember when I was younger and dad was still alive, playing in the backyard with him, having my favourite stories read and saying goodnight to a baby Seth. None of these things could've ever taken place in a house like the Cullen's, even if they had the possibility of kids.

I was quite far from the house when I began to slow down and phase back because with vampire senses, everyone can see everything going on when I'm changing. I certainly learnt that the hard way. Whilst tugging my pants on, my ears picked up the sound of footsteps, barely audible through the thick trees cocooning me accompanied by a sickly sweet smell.

"Hey Leah, I thought it was you out- WHOA!"

Emmett (you know it's bad when you start learning the damn things' names) had burst through a gap in the trees before grinding to a halt after seeing me. In beige pants and a bra. A black lacy bra.

"Dammit," I cursed, turning my back on his cocky grin and trying to put my shirt on quickly. "Think you could call something out next time?"

"Like what? Guy coming through, make sure you're fully dressed?" He smirked, clearly enjoying my discomfort.

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'bloodsucking demon' but yeah, either one works. What the hell are you doing out here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be handing out humans to your army?"

He laughed at that one. A proper booming laugh that made me question his sanity.

"Yeah he's just taking a break from all the evil things going on up at the house to round up the town's infants as a mid-afternoon snack," a voice sneered from just out of sight.

I knew immediately who it was. Rosalie, Emmett's eternal barbie doll, stepped through into the sunlight, throwing off light like a disco ball as she walked. Well, more like glided. The way they moved always freaked me out and I tried hard to suppress a shiver, opting for snarling at her instead. Emmett immediately stepped in front of her, obviously anticipating an attack but I didn't feel like fighting her just now. All I wanted to do was say hi to Jacob, go home, eat a months worth of food and sleep for the next couple of days. So I scowled darkly at the both of them and stalked off down the worn pathway to the house.

The patio doors to the back of the house were open, with a number of 'guests' spilling out into the back garden, murmuring in small groups. They all wrinkled there noses and stepped well out of my way as I passed, smirking at their obvious discomfort with my presence.

"What are you looking so happy about?" Jacob asked, coming from the kitchen with a plate piled high of salivating food.

I considered telling him but decided against it as he'd probably start bitching about how I should be more 'open-minded'. Our old diversity coordinator would've been proud although I doubt Ms Sandford ever predicted that the kind of advice needed would be about vampires and werewolves. I chose to tell a different truth instead.

"Sam gave me the rest of the week off. No patrols, no errands, nothing," I said, unable to keep a real smile off my face this time.

"Huh. Maybe I should go all Alpha on you and demand you work for me this week then," He smirked, offering me the plate of food. I shook my head at it, walking over to sit on one of the thousand dollar cream couches, making sure that my dirty feet were firmly tucked onto it. Jacob sighed. "Lee, why do you have to be so difficult?"

"That's a whole can of worms your opening up there Jake," I replied.

It was strange, how easily we'd fallen into this friendship over the past few months. Before all this baby stuff, Jake and I would've killed each other if we'd been stuck in the same room together for too long. Now, we were using nicknames and always seemed to be talking to each other.

"Hello, Earth to Leah!" Jake snapped his fingers in front of my face, pulling me from my thoughts. "When I lecture you, can't you at least pretend to listen?"

"No. You're like a broken bloody record with your lectures. 'Leah, don't talk to Carlisle like that. Stop looking so disgusted, it's just food. Why do you have to be difficult?'."

"Well maybe if you took some damn notice, I would stop! I do have better things to do you know."

"What like hanging out with the devil spawn?"

As soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back. Jake's face hardened immediately and when he spoke it was through clenched teeth.

"Don't. Call. Her. That." His voice sounded so dangerous that even if I wasn't already sorry, I would be now. Thankfully, the spawn in question saved me by walking in at that moment attached to Isabella Swan.

I stood up and turned to walk out when Swan called out to me. "Hello Leah. How are things on the reservation?"

I didn't even turn back to acknowledge her, just continued walking out of the house like I hadn't heard. She sighed behind me and Edward and Jacob jumped in quickly to reassure her that it was all my fault. Typical. Jake still treated Bella as if he was still in love with her, even though he had the spawn now. I was just heading towards the river, passing numerous vampires who were glimmering gently in the falling sunlight when it happened. There was a loud noise from the house followed by a scream and crying that sounding hauntingly like Bella and Renesmee. There was only two people in the world who could make both of them sound like that.

I was phasing before I knew it.

Now, bursting through a glass door in theory sounds dramatic and cool, like an action scene from a movie. Actually bursting through a glass door is not dramatic or cool and it's definitely nothing like an action scene from a movie. Especially when you expecting to swoop in and save the day and nothing is wrong in the first place. Except that a gigantic wolf just crashed through into the living room, creating one hell of a mess and a whole lot of chaos. Of course, all the vampires thought that they were under attack and immediately got ready to fight back, causing Jake to leap up to defend me. The rest of the Cullen's tried to calm everyone down, assuring them that nothing was wrong, that I was just one of the rez wolves. To try and make this easier for them, I phased.

I don't think that anyone has ever been in a situation where being naked has actually made it better, but this one was pretty unique anyway. How many people have crashed through a veggie vamp's patio as a wolf to save their wolf friend from non-veggie wolves? Exactly. Anyway, it was better for a couple of seconds as everyone shut up and calmed down. Then Emmett piped up.

"Geez, Leah this is the second time today I've seen you pretty much naked. Going for a record?"

Jake turned round to ask what the hell he was talking about, saw me naked and turned back around, shielding my body from the others for another reason.

"Why Jacob, have I made you blush?" I commented, unable to leave this perfect opportunity to embarrass him.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about your modesty right now? What the hell were you doing anyway?" He replied, attempting to change the subject. It worked.

"Um, could we possibly have this conversation when I'm not naked?"

**So tell me what you think of this so far and the next chapter should be up here soon.**


	2. Anger Issues

**Hope you enjoyed the last chapter. It was only supposed to be a small change but it ended up being huge. Anyway, on with this chapter.**

Once Esme had managed to find me some clothes that actually fitted- stinking of leech, of course -I sat down alone with Jacob in Carlisle's study to talk. It was actually quite cosy in there, besides the smell. Dark wood panelling that still had a whiff of forest about it, black squashy leather chairs that were surprisingly comfortable and shelves and shelves full of books. I've always loved books, ever since I was a little kid when dad took me to the library. Seth begged to go but dad said that it was just our thing and I loved it. It helped that dad was a fantastic storyteller and I hung onto his every word. After he died, I'd gone off books a bit, too worried of the memories they'd bring back and the eventual pain that would cause.

"So. You decided to crash through the glass doors why exactly?" Jake began the conversation, jolting me out of my memories and back to present day.

"I was training to be a superhero," I replied without hesitation. Jacob gave me a look. "I being serious. I heard screaming and crying so I jumped through to save your ass."

"Wait, wait, wait. You thought I was screaming and crying? I do _not _scream and cry! I shout. Manly." He looked so ridiculously insulted by my comment that I couldn't help but laugh.

"Not you, you idiot!" I said, slapping him on the arm. "Swan and Renesmee. I heard a crash and then them making a racket. Thought something had happened to you, didn't I?"

He paused to think about this for a second. "So you thought I was in danger and came running to the rescue? Leah, I'm touched."

"Piss off Black, I was just worried about what your dad would do if he knew I'd left you. What really happened anyway?"

When I heard the full story, I felt like even more of an idiot than I had earlier, standing naked for half the vampire population to witness. Of course, it also made Bella look like a complete idiot. Emmett was fighting with some other leech in the house and had fallen back into a table, completely smashing it. The crashing noise. That made Bella jump and she screamed, setting Renesmee off crying. The screams and the wailing.

"Aren't vamps meant to be made of harder stuff? Like stuff that doesn't screech like a little girl at a bang?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Jake gave me another look. Then his face changed into a look I knew well. The You're-really-not-gonna-like-what-I'm-about-to-say look. "What? What is it now?"

He cleared his throat nervously before talking. "Okay, so I was thinking about your earlier 'devil spawn' comment," he put a hand up when I began to try and apologize. "And it seems as if you don't like Nessie because you haven't tried to get to know her."

"No Jacob." I was not going to hang out with baby half-breed.

"And I thought that if you spent some time with her-"

"Hell no. No fricking way."

"-then maybe you'd like her."

I stood up, scraping my chair along the pristine wooden floorboards, and walked out. I was aware that this was the second time today and that soon I'd be labelled drama queen rather than psycho-bitch, but I didn't care. How the hell could Jacob seriously ask that of me? He knows how I feel about their kind and just because he's gone all leech-loving on us, doesn't mean that I have to follow suit. I wouldn't.

He didn't bother to follow me down the stairs, past the countless glowing red eyes and out into the early evening. He knew there was no point. When I made up my mind, there was absolutely no changing it; I was stubborn like that. There were some things that would never, ever change in my life. I'd always hate vampires. I'd always look after my friends, my family. I'd always be bitter.

It was only when I made sure that there was a good distance put between me and the house that I stopped. I thought about phasing, running back home like I had intended to do earlier but I felt too restless now. So I settled for pacing. It sort of calmed me and helped me to think a little, although that was the last thing that I wanted to do at the moment. I thought about how much things had changed, how much we'd all changed. Jacob was still so hung up on Bella a few months ago, immersing himself in angst over her and making it impossible for anyone to come close. Now he was all loved up with the demon child, going back on every promise he'd ever made to himself about vampires. I guess that was what imprinting did to a person. Of course, how would I know when the closest I'd ever come to love was with Sam. And look how that ended.

A rustling in the trees behind notified me of another's presence but thankfully, it wasn't a vampire this time. A sandy coloured wolf came into view, huge and gangly. He whined softly at me and it was only then that I realised I had been crying. I scrubbed at my eyes, furious at them for betraying my emotions. Seth whined again.

"I'm fine Seth, honestly. I've just come back from seeing Jacob, you can report back to Sam that everything's okay." He dipped his head then looked back over his shoulder, towards home. "Yeah, I'm coming back. Just give me a sec to phase and I'll be right behind you."

I really didn't want to phase at the same time as Seth because he was the only wolf (apart from Jacob) who still had full viewing rights to all my thoughts. I couldn't filter them from him yet I didn't want him worrying about me or losing the hero-worship status he held for Jake. Kid needed someone to look up to now that dad was gone. Still, once he had turned his back to me, I pulled off my clothes and quickly tied them to the small length of string I had wound around my left ankle. Letting the familiar feel of phasing wash over me felt almost like a relief after spending most of the afternoon walking round human.

_You can turn around now, Seth. _I tried hard to keep my mind focused on the forest, trained on innocent thoughts. _C'mon, we better get back before mom starts worrying._

It was fine at first, us running together. Then I got a little distracted and Seth's steps faltered. _What was that Leah? Something about Jacob?_

_It's nothing. We just talked. _I knew that I sounded defensive and that it would probably make my nosy little brother more determined to find out what happened but I needed to make him stop prying. I was pissed enough at Jacob, I didn't want to be pissed at Seth too.

We ran on together for awhile longer and I continued to have a hard time concentrating my mind. Damn Jacob and his stupid leech-child. Why did he have to go ahead and complicate things, why couldn't he just understand that I wanted to stay out of the Cullen's lives? Stupid imprints, they always screwed with people's brains.

_Maybe you should get to know Nessie, she's not that bad y'know. _Crap. Stupid bloody wolf connected minds too. And she was Nessie to him now? _Don't be like that, Lee. Why can't I be friends with both of you?_

_I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying don't start preaching to me about how lovely the little freak is and how I should get to know her. I've managed to stay out of the way of the vampire love-fest up until now and I'm not stopping any time soon._

I was still quite far from home but I didn't care, I just needed to get away from all this 'Nessie' crap. So I phased, leaving Seth to run on without me; like Jake, he knew not to bother me when I was in a foul mood. If only Sam hadn't tempted me with a whole week off, none of this would've happened. It seems as if every damn bad thing that happens to me is his fault.

"That's because he's a complete jerk," I muttered to myself, kicking a stone along the ground.

Which was true, even if it wasn't his fault. I hated still having a soft spot for him and the way he knew me so well when I felt as if I barely knew him any more. Not that I wanted to, after he shacked up with Emily. Which, again, wasn't exactly his fault. Didn't mean I had to forgive them for it though. Ugh, I was giving myself way too much time to think lately, something that I generally avoided whenever I could because it always ended up with me either furious or in tears. Why couldn't I be one of those girls with all the happy memories from school?

"Oh yeah, because I'm a fricking wolf!" I said darkly to myself whilst crossing the road that divided the barely contained forest and the row of tiny houses.

"Talking to yourself Leah? First sign of madness." Embry, Jared and Paul were sat on the low rise wall in front of Jared's house, enjoying the coolness that the evening had to offer. They were all grinning at me like complete idiots.

"Piss off," I told them in a voice nothing like the joking one I'd used with Jacob earlier. They just started laughing at me so I stalked off into the house before I decided to start throwing punches.

I had planned earlier to quietly sneak into my room so as to avoid any conversation with Seth or my mom. Of course, my plan did not take into consideration my slightly shaky temper which had me slamming the front door shut as hard as I could, alerting everyone in the neighbourhood of my arrival. I heard whispering in the kitchen which sounded vaguely like Seth saying: 'Don't tell her anything, she's annoyed enough as it is', forcing me to confront whatever it was they were planning to keep from me.

"Hello sweetheart, I've just cooked some fish fry. Hungry?" Mom said as soon as I walked into the kitchen, speaking a little too frantically to be casual. However, I didn't have time to address this as my stomach began groaning loudly, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. "How was your day then?"

"Pretty damn awful," I replied. "Between patrols and babysitting Jacob I haven't really eaten."

"I thought you didn't mind hanging out with Jacob?" I cringed at how she said 'hanging out'.

"Well, he can be a complete pain in the ass sometimes mom."

"He's still practically your brother. Seth can be like that sometimes too." She ruffled his hair when he made a noise of protest, unable to speak properly with his mouth stuffed full. "Anyway, you'll probably be too busy this week to go up and see him again."

"No actually. Sam's given me the whole week off!" I couldn't help the huge grin that spread across my face when I thought about it. Until I saw the other's faces. "What?"

"Sam called round earlier." Mom shot a worried glance at Seth who was in turn looking at me sympathetically. "He says he's sorry but both Paul and Quil can't do patrols for the rest of this week and he desperately needs you. He said he'll even ask Jacob to order you if he needs to."

I just sat there for a moment, clenching and unclenching my fists, unsure of what to do with this new anger that had added to the rest of the whole day's, boiling up inside me. Before I could do anything really stupid, I simply got up and walked out the door, back towards the forest, away from the calls of the pack.

My last thought before I phased was that this was the third time today I'd walked out on someone and that I really must be a drama queen.

**Thank you to all the people who read the last chapter, hopefully the new one will be up tomorrow.**


	3. Change

It took me awhile in my anger filled haze to work out where I was heading, and when I did, it really didn't help my anger. I was on the west side of the river, with the Cullen's house a few miles downstream. I began to slow my pace, trying to figure out exactly where I wanted to go, realising that there wasn't anywhere. There was absolutely nowhere I felt I could go to let off steam and just rant for a little bit. If Sam and Emily hadn't imprinted, she would be the one I'd be ranting to now.

_Don't go there, _I warned myself, slipping back into human form and getting dressed quickly, keeping an eye out for any roaming bloodsuckers this time. _You're in a bad enough mood as it is. _

Maybe I should stop fighting the whole 'thinking stuff throug' thing and just get on with it. Dipping my toes into the cool water of the river, I shifted through today's events. It would seem as if I'd over reacted from another's point of view, yet from mine, it was simply the tipping point of a very long year. It especially hurt that Jacob was the one to suggest getting to know Renesmee as he knew best out of everyone how I really felt. It was kind of hard not to know everything about another person when you'd been sharing the same head space with them for the past few weeks, particularly when both spaces were equally messed up.

Then there was of course the root of all my troubles. Sam. If I had never fallen in love with him, if he'd never fallen for me, my life would be so much easier right now. It would've made me becoming a wolf and dad dying less crushing because I'd have had Emily there for me. I wasn't exactly sure what it was like for Sam, seeing as I pretty much avoided talking to him whenever I could, but for me it was still so hard to see him. Because I remembered everything. I remembered the way he used to look at me, as if I was the only person who ever mattered, the way he'd kiss me, so softly yet with so much love and passion. How he'd leave me breathless with the slightest of touches, kisses, gestures.

I had started crying again though I wasn't sure whether they were happy or sad tears. There was a curling, squeezing feeling in the pit of my stomach that felt a lot like longing. If I had the chance to change things back to the way they were, before all this werewolf bullshit then I would, in a heartbeat. There were a lot of ifs and maybes tonight. Dammit. Knew I shouldn't have started thinking.

"Leah."

I swivelled round to find Jacob's chest in front of me. I had to crane my neck to see his face. He'd grown so much; he was taller than Sam now. I must've looked pathetic, staring up at him from my spot on the damp forest floor with tears crawling from my eyes and making trails down my cheeks because Jake immediately swept me up into a fierce, bone-crushing hug.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his chest. He just shushed me, stroking my short hair.

"I'm the one who should be sorry. Nessie's made me so happy, I've kind of forgotten what it was like before and I shouldn't have pushed you." It came out all in a mess of words slurred together as he tried to get them out there quickly. "Please forgive me?"

I laughed. "So I act like a total bitch and you're the one apologising? No wonder I'm so spoilt." Jacob ruffled my hair a bit and stood back to look at my face, an almost pleading expression on his. "Of course I forgive you Jake. But...maybe we should talk about this and some other stuff? Just so we get onto the same page."

"Leah, are you actually suggesting speaking things through rationally rather than solving problems with your fists? I'm shocked!"

I replied by punching him on the arm hard. We began to walk down the river towards the Cullen's house, seeing as that was where Jacob currently lived, something that I knew Edward wasn't too happy about. Apparently, Renesmee had 'shown' everyone she could get her hands on that she wanted 'her werewolf' to live with her and eventually they'd caved at her 'sweetness'. Man my thoughts were sarcastic tonight.

The party was in full swing at the house with vampires galore. Buffy would have a field day if she arrived now. They showed common courtesying to Jacob by completely ignoring him but me, they stared at with outright disgust. I stared back with my head held high, challenging them all until Jake nudged me, giving a disapproving look. I stuck my tongue out at him. The living room was full of yet more bloodsuckers, murmuring quietly in small groups except for Emmett who was laughing uproariously at something or other. I shook my head at that and he seemed to catch the movement, turning his attention to me.

"Nice to see you with some clothes on," he grinned.

"Bite me asshole."

"Sorry babe, you've got bad blood."

"At least I've got a soul."

He laughed at that one, completely unfazed by my comments before rejoining his conversation. Jacob was about to lead me upstairs, probably to his room, when my stomach growled loudly, reminding me that the most I'd eaten today was a bowl of cereal and a few mouthfuls of fish fry.

"Food first," Jake said, leading me into the kitchen, despite my protests that I wasn't really hungry. "Don't bother Lee, I'm not listening. Stop being such a food snob."

It wasn't so much the food as where the food was at yet I allowed him to take me through because it was cool and empty in the kitchen and Jacob was the one making the food, not amber-eyed mommy vamp. I had no idea who'd taught him how to cook (not Billy, because I'd tasted his food and there was nothing worse) but it was good. Really good, though it was just an omelette. Still, this was actually comparing to my mom's food and she's a fantastic cook.

"Where the hell did you learn to make food this good?" I demanded.

"A lot of free time and the cooking channel," he smiled. He looked as if he was enjoying my awe at his amazing cooking skills. "C'mon, be honest. How amazing is it?"

"It's bad. I'm just surprised you managed to kick it up from awful."

Jake flicked a piece of omelette at me and we laughed together, falling into a comfortable silence afterwards apart from the scraping of cutlery against plates. Then someone had to come in and ruin all that, bringing with them a smell that made me gag. It was a vampire, but that wasn't the odour that had me choking. It was the smell of fresh blood. Fresh, human blood. I didn't look up from my plate but I could tell that Jacob's body had stiffened across from me and that he was smelling the same thing.

"Can I help you?" He asked his voice oddly formal.

"Sorry, I didn't realise anyone else was in here," the vampire replied, his voice too smooth to be human with a hint of an accent that I couldn't seem to place. It made me shudder. "Although, have you seen Tia anywhere? I can't seem to find her."

"No idea."

It was obvious that although Jacob had a new found tolerance for vampires, he still detested them as much as before and that was comforting, in a weird way. The vampire began to leave the room as I turned around to make sure they were going. I only caught a flash of their vivid ruby eyes before they were gone, but that was all that was needed to kick start everything afterwards.


	4. Dangerous Thoughts

**Sorry it's taken so long to write, mocks have begun and revision is killing me!**

I honestly have no idea how Jacob managed to put into words what happened when you imprinted because my mind was too busy flooding with the most bizarre emotions to even comprehend anything else. Like Jake shaking me and begging me to tell him I hadn't, I hadn't chosen a bloodsucker. _Of course I haven't, _I wanted to scream at him. _There's no chance in hell. _My wolf genes, however, must've decided on something very different because I wanted to run out there, throw my arms around that vampire and never let go. I knew immediately I'd take on anything to protect him. But none of these feelings were what shocked me the most. The scary thing was, is that it felt natural. I _should _want to protect him, I _must_.

"Oh crap," I whispered, turning to Jake. "I've only gone and imprinted."

"With the vampire?" He asked.

"No with your beautiful self. Of course with the vampire, who else!" I saw him roll his eyes, amused that I could still be sarcastic whilst freaking the hell out. "How could this happen? We're supposed to be mortal enemies so why the hell have I been wired up to fall for one of them?"

I jumped up and began pacing, aware that 'they' would be able to clearly hear me at the moment. Jacob just stood there, a pained look on his face that clearly said there was worse news to come.

"What? What is it?"

"Lee...he's not just a vampire. He's a taken vampire."

I stopped pacing, removing the nails from my mouth where I'd been chewing at them nervously before. No. Jake was wrong, he had to be. That was _my _vampire. Mine and no one else's. I would not let some undead, lecherous whore steal him from me! Jesus, my mood was swinging faster than a monkey on speed. First I start freaking out about this whole thing, not wanting to accept it and now I'm threatening some unknown vamp for another one whose name I didn't actually know but was pretty sure I'd imprinted onto. Jacob stood silently whilst a hundred different emotions flickered over my face rapidly.

"Are you sure you've imprinted Leah?" He questioned when my decided to settle on utter confusion.

That was the thing. Had I? Sure, I'd felt the immediate pull to him, the need to be with him, protect him, just be there but then I'd go ahead and doubt everything. It sounded like imprinting, it felt like it imprinting yet the complete and utter devotion that was supposed to be there wasn't.

"I have no idea, Jake, but I'm starting to freak out a bit. I mean the stuff that I felt when I saw him, it felt like an imprint. Or what I've heard it to feel like anyway. The thing is, I'm not one hundred percent certain about it. Like one minute I want to rip anyone to shreds who even looks at him funny and the next I'm trying to talk myself out of the whole damn thing!"

"Maybe it is an imprint but a different on to mine." At my blank look he continued. "I mean, you're the only female werewolf in history. Things are bound to be a little strange with you. Maybe the imprint is weaker or maybe it's because you're right, vampires and werewolves are natural enemies and the bond is trying to resist this. Honestly, I think we need some more advice on this. We haven't exactly got much to go on at the moment and Carlisle might know something about this."

All it took was the mention of his name in our conversation and he was there, smiling winningly with a calm expression. As always. It kind of bugged me that he had seemingly perfected this whole serenity stuff when I could barely keep my temper under control enough to stay on two legs. _This really isn't the time to be pissed about your anger issues, _I reminded myself, focusing on the current mess that had been made of my life. I turned to stare at Carlisle pointedly. He just looked back, no change to the expression.

"So? I didn't call you in here to have a coffee and a chat, do you know anything?"

"Unfortunately, no," he sighed. "But I am happy to do some research into it and maybe into you?"

It took me a minute to get what he was saying. "What, test me and stuff? Hell no, I am not being your little lab rat. Don't use the fact that my life has, once again, completely collapsed in on itself as an excuse 'cause we all know you have some freaky obsession with us. If you don't know anything now I really doubt you'll know anything with a bit of me so don't even try to sell-"

"Leah, will you shut the hell up for a sec?" Jacob interrupted, looking furious at me. "He's trying to help, let him!"

I lifted my eyebrows in disbelief, clenching my jaw hard and balling up my hands to stop me from punching the scowl off his stupid leech-loving face. "What, so you're siding with them now?"

"No, Lee, I was just-"

"Nice to know where your loyalties really lie."

And with that, I stormed out. Again. I was turning out to be like one of those stuck up bitches who slammed a door whenever daddy wouldn't buy them a new pony. Except that my dad was dead and my problems involved fangs. Dad. I hadn't actually thought about him in a few days and it made me feel guilty as hell. He was the only one who could calm me down when I flew off the handle. Of course, I loved my mom and Seth was always the level headed one but dad? We were so close, when he died I stopped. Just stopped. Speaking, eating. Living. The worst thing was, I felt angry at him for leaving us. Mainly me really, which made it even worse because I could've dealt with being angry for him leaving Seth with less protection. He's my little brother and anything that hurts him, hurts me. But to only think about myself? To be angry because he left me to deal with Sam and Emily and being a genetically dud only female in history werewolf? I hated myself.

Without paying proper attention, I wasn't surprised to find that my feet had pushed me in the direction of La Push beach. It was my favourite place to go, sitting up high on the ridge of the cliff, overlooking the waves crashing about below. Feeling like the whole world was moving while I was simply staying still, being me. It was the one place where I could actually believe that nothing bad was happening or had ever happened. I would get up, go home to see dad and Seth messing about in the yard, mom cooking and laughing, Sam looking at me with so much love, I thought my heart would break with happiness...

"You can jump if you want. Don't worry, I won't stop you."

The voice startled me and made my blood boil at the same time. "Piss off Lahote, I was thinking how nice it would be not having to see you face tomorrow and yet here you are, killing my buzz." I didn't turn around to face him because I knew he'd see the tears in my eyes and I wouldn't let him see me weak. Got enough crap from the idiot as it was already.

"So if you're not jumping, what are you doing up here?" He asked, making it obvious that he didn't really care.

I leaned forward a bit to get a better look at the water. It was swirling furiously, spitting up icy water that made me shiver despite my unusually high body temperature. If a human jumped now, certain death awaited them. If a werewolf jumped? Who knew. Probably not seeing as Jacob pretty much got mangled by newborns and lived to brag about it. It scared me when I realised that if I didn't come back up, I wouldn't give that much of a damn. Sure, the thought of leaving Seth to fend for himself was terrifying but he had his brothers who I knew would keep him safe and mom had some weird thing going on with Charlie Swan so she was fine. Plus, I think I deserved the kind of respite of death seeing as I maybe had imprinted a few moments ago on a vampire, had a completely screwed up past and was quite honestly tired of acting like a total bitch.

All I know is that right now, the only two choices I have are between explaining my incredibly complicated love life, which I didn't even fully understand myself, to a guy I pretty much hated or jumping off a cliff that had a slim chance of killing me. It hardly surprised me that I chose the latter. It did, however, surprise Paul.

"You know what? I think I will jump," I said, beginning to pull off my shirt and pants.

"Are you serious? It looks freezing down there, even for a werewolf." Paul edged towards the drop looking sceptical before looking back at me, his face changing to shock when he saw the look on my face. He obvious knew what I was thinking or had a good idea of it anyway. "Leah..."

"Careful there Paul. You almost sound like you care." I smiled wryly at him.

With that, I finished removing my clothing and ran past, diving head first into the black waters below, not fully knowing if I'd come back up, not really caring if I didn't.


	5. A Difficult Day

**Happy New Year everyone! Thank you to nakala, Alissa21 and UNCPanda for the reviews and for everyone being patient with me. This chapter is a bit longer than the others to make up for it.**

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><p>The icy water cut at me as I dove down into it, stabbing tiny pinpricks into my skin painfully yet at the same time almost relieving me of pain. I never really understood why some people decided to cut themselves. Obviously it wouldn't exactly work on me because my incredibly fast healing would just leave a mess of blood behind. Still, I'd always wondered. Now, I felt as if I sort of understood. The freezing water pinching at my bare body, thrashing me into the stubs of rocks below, slowly bleeding oxygen from my lungs; it felt good. Just floating through the water, being carried by the current soothed me. It stopped me from thinking about anything except for the swirling waves crashing over my head again and again.<p>

After awhile my lungs began to burn uncomfortably though I stayed down, forcing myself to ignore it. I was getting almost desperate when something reached down from above and pulled me to the surface. I gasped for breath, filling my body, hearing the blood pounding in my ears, relieving the pain in my chest yet bringing old pain back. Dad. Jacob. The vampire. Now I had air, I tried to go back down but something else was there, dragging me higher, yanking me out of the water almost harshly. It was only when I felt the gritty sand scratching up my back that I opened my eyes to see Paul towering over me, a dark look on his face.

"What the hell are you thinking? Do you have a death wish?"

It all sounded blurred and out of focus, like I was hearing it from a distance. I shook my head attempting to dislodge the water from my ears and slowly the sounds of the beach returned.

"No, I just wanted to go for a swim," I said, noticing how hoarse my voice was. Must've swallowed some water. "Why are you so concerned?"

"Really, because it looked like you were trying to drown yourself," he replied angrily, ignoring my obvious taunt. "I know we can go under for longer without air but what you just pulled was stupid. If I hadn't have jumped in after you..."

He let that thought trail off, moving away from me and pacing restlessly. Why the hell was Paul so freaked out by this? It was a well known fact in our pack that we hated each other yet here he was jumping in after me, worrying about me. Okay, so maybe we didn't go so far as wanting each other dead and I'd been kind of weird with him on the cliff...still, I didn't expect him to care, not really.

"What if you had killed yourself?" He continued. "What about Seth and your mum? What about Jacob?"

"What about Jacob?" I tried to sound bitter and defiant but thanks to my throat which burned horribly with every rasp, it came out as a quiet croak. I tried clearing my throat only managing to make it burn even more.

"Seeing as you two have become BFFs, I think he'd be just a little upset, don't you? Not to mention he would've killed me for not saving you."

I laughed at that. "So you were only worried about the consequences for you? Thank you Paul, really know how to make a girl feel wanted." Whilst speaking, I began to get up, wobbling a bit. Paul grabbed me by the elbow and hauled me up. I brushed him off. "I don't need your help!"

He looked at me for a minute before finally dropping his hand and storming off towards the tree line across from the beach, tugging at his shirt as he went. That reminded me, I'd left my clothes up on the highest ridge of the cliff and although I really didn't want to walk all the way up, going home in my underwear wouldn't do wonders for me either. Groaning, I began jogging up the trail feeling my back protesting a little though already healing from where I'd smashed into the rocks earlier. It didn't take me long to get to my clothes yet it had evidently taken Paul less time to phase and talk to Sam because there he was, sitting with his back to me staring out into the sea. As I jogged past to where my stuff lay, I saw the expression on his face and it was blank. That was never a good sign as it usually meant he was pretty pissed but didn't want to show it.

The silence became suffocating as I quickly dressed, feeling uncomfortable being so bare around him even if he had seen more than this before. This day was getting worse and worse. First I had to deal with the possible new addition to my love life in the shape of a bloodsucking demon, then Paul and now the previous and pretty much only addition to my love life who probably wanted to have a heart to heart. He looked up at me and I tensed, waiting for the disapproval that would begin our fight. When we were together, though I never had any doubt that we loved each other, our fights were spectacular. Both of us are completely stubborn and unwilling to budge even an inch, causing us to fight over everything. Though I have to admit, the making up was amazing too. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the images that would only hurt me.

"Please don't do that," Sam sighed.

So this was what was going to happen: I'd done nothing and he was here to pick a fight. Well, as my sanity is hanging on by a piece of spider silk he better be prepared for me to explode at him. "Do what?"

"Put up your defences before I even say anything. It's like you want to fight with me."

_Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing. _"I'm not 'putting up my defences', it's just that I know what that face means."

"And what does it mean?"

"You're pissed or upset with me so you put on your 'I'm so disappointed with you Leah' face on to lecture me." He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "Don't try to deny it Sam, I know you. Plus, what other reason would you have for coming up here to talk to me?"

He was silent for awhile and when he spoke again his voice was quieter, softer. "I spoke to Jacob and Paul. They both told me what happened." I stiffened, waiting for his pity. "Leah, I'm so sorry about what happened at the Cullen's, I truly wish things were simpler for you. When Paul told me what you did, I had to come talk to you, I thought you'd need a friend."

"You're unbelievable Sam. You wish things could be simpler for me? Maybe if you hadn't made me fall in love with you then ditched me, things would be simpler. Jacob had no right to tell you what had happened, we're not part of your pack any more and Paul shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Don't pretend that we are friends because we're not. I don't need a friend, I'm completely fine and maybe if people actually asked instead of just assuming that something has to be wrong with me all the time, we wouldn't be talking about this."

"Lee, I-"

"Do. Not. Call. Me. Lee." I spoke through gritted teeth and he stopped talking. "I'm fine and I'm going home because I've been patrolling since yesterday, not because I've become some sad case emotional wreck."

With that I stormed off still absolutely furious with him and wishing I had punched him. How dare he offer his support to me after everything he'd done? I began wishing that our fights had been like before where I'd get all my anger out and have great make up sex afterwards. Nowadays I was left fuming, pushing my anger down - which I'd been told is really unhealthy though it's never done me any harm - until the next person pissed me off and I exploded. Don't even get me started on the lack of sex.

When I got some way down, I turned back and shouted back up at him. "Sam? Tell Paul and Jacob that if they ever talk about me again, I'll break something that no amount of healing will ever help."

Threatening them, even if it wasn't exactly to their face, made me feel much better so that when I arrived home I didn't look such a way that mum or Seth would worry. However it became apparent as I entered the house that there had been no point. Seth was either out patrolling or over at the Cullen's and mum had left a note on the table to say she'd be eating over at Charlie's tonight. An empty house for any other 20 year old would mean a party or boyfriend over but for me, a stressed out and extremely exhausted werewolf, it meant at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. I gulped down a huge glass of water and grabbed an apple from the bowl on the way up to my room, realising I hadn't really eaten properly for a few days. Yet even my growling stomach couldn't stop me from falling asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. The last thing I thought of before I was lost to sleep was the vampire and his hungry, glowing red eyes.

_I walked slowly through the thick, vibrant undergrowth ignoring the long and winding dirt path to my right. It was worn and beaten but still visible as it was the only space that was not overgrown with a variety of different plants. Although this path was a safety net, protecting me from days of being aimlessly lost in the forest, it held no interest to me. I wasn't trying to be rebellious or lose myself in the forest, it simply didn't feel right. There was no direction to my wandering except for a tiny pull I felt that sometimes made me change course. As to what I was looking for wasn't exactly clear at this precise moment but nevertheless I carried on carefully treading over the colossal ferns that seemed to spring up from nowhere. The tall trees looming over me cut out the sunlight and most of the view ahead so that there were only a few patches of warmth that I could bask in. I could hear the distant cry of gulls flying over what was sure to be a crystal clear ocean. The beach must be close I thought almost absent mindedly, as the air smelt strongly of salt. Every time I breathed, this taste would frolic on my tongue, lingering for only a moment or two before disappearing._

_Contented as I was with simply wandering, restlessness seemed to be firmly settling at the back of my mind like a dark cloud seeping into my thoughts. It disturbed and irritated me a little, as it was ruining the peace that I joyfully exuded. I stopped, shaking my head to try and dislodge this feeling but it seemed to stick. I was, however, momentarily distracted by a tiny leaf fluttering down from a statuesque russet tree. The leaf was caught up in the sunlight and it glittered like sequins, changing its colour from a dull brown to a dazzling deep red. It was a skilful dancer, twirling and whirling down, catching the light to once again make it shine magnificently. When it finally became mixed into a collage of colours that was the forest floor did I finally look past it to see a dark figure lurking in the shadows._

_"Hello?" I called out, abruptly cutting the silence. The figure stepped forward and I was surprised with the face staring at me. "Jacob?"_

_He looked the same as ever. Russet brown skin that set in high contrast to his gleaming white teeth every time he smiled, the same ragged black shorts and tatty old trainers. He even seemed to be slightly taller than the last time I saw him. I tried to think back to the last time I saw him and remembered the scene I'd made in the kitchen. The last time I saw him I had been furious at him. I didn't feel mad now though, even after everything that had happened this afternoon. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed that he hadn't answered me yet which left me feeling slightly uneasy. I stepped forward to get a better look at him when I saw the full picture. Jacob was not alone and I was fairly shocked to see who was with him. The vampire. My vampire, I thought feeling stupidly protective of him. I smiled shyly at him and was about to speak when he stepped forward into the infrequent area of light. The view unnerved me a little bit but at the same time, I couldn't help but marvel at him. The rays of sun glancing off him were changing his skin from the usual olive tone to one that made it impossible to look away. It seemed as if he had a thousand tiny diamonds embedded into him. His eyes too seemed to shine a glorious ruby that made the leaf look dead in comparison and his mouth was turned up into the same grin that I had._

_I was so awestruck by his sudden appearance that it took me a while to realise why Jacob had not replied earlier. When I did, I gasped loudly and took a shaky step back. He was the leaf. He was dead. I now noticed the long crimson river snaking from his neck down to his waist, I noticed the way his head lolled back as if it was too heavy for him to bear and I noticed how the vampire had a trickle of blood trailing down his chin from the corner of his mouth. He wasn't smiling at me, he was smirking darkly and he hadn't come to find me. He had come to show me his kill. So fast I that my heart had barely beat once and he was beside me. I tried to recoil away from him, but he pulled me closer. One hand was used to gently caress my neck and the other to bring Jacob closer to me. I attempted to cry but there were no tears, to run but I had no energy, to turn away but I couldn't move. I looked down at my feet and with a terrifying jolt realised I was glistening too. Turning to face Ben, my reflection in his eyes showed round bloody pupils much like his. And the worst thing of all? The smell of my best friend's blood drove me wild with thirst._

_"Hello darling," The vampire whispered in my ear, his voice like velvet. "I saved this one for you."_


	6. Food and Fights

I awoke with a start, gasping for breath more than I had on the beach earlier. Glancing over at the clock on the bedside table, I realised I'd only slept for a few hours but after that dream, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again. It felt strange, really, that my bedroom still looked exactly the same after everything that had happened over the past few days. The small wardrobe in the corner, desk over by the window and narrow wooden bed took up most of the room, leaving little space for the rest of the clutter I'd accumulated over the years. An ancient computer was largely the focus of the desk though there was also old school books, a few magazines and a picture frame with the whole family in it. Above it was a few shelves with more books and a photo album which a friend bought me a couple of years ago, before the whole wolf thing started. Discarded clothes dotted around completed the personal touch to my room.

The dream had really disturbed me. Of course it would be impossible for a werewolf to become a vampire yet it still had a terrible effect, burying itself so deep in my head that I couldn't think of anything else. The glowing red eyes, _my _glowing red eyes, bright with Jacob's blood made me shiver. That stupid, strangely gorgeous vampire was already messing with my head and I'd only met him once. Trying to shake it off, I went downstairs, hearing more than one voice which most probably meant the whole pack was over. Great. This was not what I'd wanted to deal with after my freaky dream. I tried to sneak past the living room and into the kitchen, knowing it was impossible that I'd simply slip by with all the super hearing. Especially when one of the people with super hearing was my cutely worried yet annoying perceptive little brother.

"Hey Leah, you okay? I haven't seen you all day." If anyone else but Seth had talked to me, I would've ignored them. But this wasn't; it was the kid brother I love to death. From his carefully controlled voice, I immediately knew that he knew about the vampire and wondered who else knew about it now. The pack were worse gossipers than high school girls.

I turned towards his voice, seeing that the whole pack was here, minus Sam, Colin and Brady. I forced a smile onto my face, deliberately avoiding Jake's concerned eyes and Paul's glare. "Fine Seth, I was at the beach earlier and I've just catching up on some sleep. Woke up 'cause I got hungry." I turned to begin walking into the kitchen.

"There's food in the kitchen if you want some," Seth called after me. "And you can come sit in here whilst you eat?"

The uncertainty in his voice turned the statement into a question and I mentally cursed the inability I seemed to had that meant I could never say no to my baby brother. "Sure, I'll just grab a plate."

In the kitchen, however, I slumped into a chair with my head in my hands. This was not a situation I wanted to be in with this little sleep; the people in that room knew way too much about everything going on in my life right now. Stupid mind sharing powers, now I couldn't even confide in my brother without half the rez finding out. Looking up, my eyes met the picture of all of us, me, Seth, mum and dad, propped on the counter. It had been taken quite awhile ago, probably when Seth was about five and I was ten. We were sat on first beach, mine and Seth's faces covered in the remains of a chocolate ice cream, dad laughing at us and mum smiling up at him adoringly. I loved to remember him like that; eyes crinkled, teeth flashing, no signs of ill health appearing.

"What am I going to do dad? Everything's so messed up." Unsurprisingly, the photo didn't reply. I dropped my head again, making a frustrated noise.

"You do know that talking to photographs doesn't exactly scream mentally stable right?"

"Go away Paul," I said, not even bothering to look up at him.

"Just came in for a drink." I could hear him walking around the kitchen and opening the fridge, silently praying he'd leave me alone. The sound of the chair opposite me scrapping back informed me that apparently my prayers weren't being answered. I sat up and glared at him.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?" He gave me a blank look. "Like the hell away from me?"

"Ouch. I think that one actually burned," Paul smirked.

"Good." Barely two minutes and he was already giving me a headache.

"That's it? No clever retort? Something must be wrong."

"Don't want to think of anything too smart, you wouldn't understand it."

"Throw yourself off any cliffs today? Or is that strictly reserved for Thursdays?"

I looked up at him, my face like thunder. Paul shot me an easy smile before I calmly got up, grabbed a glass of water and emptied it over his head. He jumped up, gasping with the shock of having freezing cold liquid trickling down his back and glaring at me; he was pissed. He began trembling, starting with small shivers running up and down his spine which I first thought were a result of the water until it spread, making his entire body convulse. _If he shifts and ruins my kitchen, I'm going to kill him _I thought. But I needn't have worried. He took a deep shaky breath, concentrating hard on each part of his body, trying to stop the shift. It worked and after staring at me hatefully for a good minute, he stalked out of the house slamming the door behind him.

"Paul?" I heard Seth call out for him from the living room. Finding a plate in the cupboard and piling it high, I took a deep breath before striding from the kitchen, all traces of my earlier conversation wiped off my face.

"Wow Jared, you really do suck," I said, seeing that he was losing seven-one to Seth.

"It's not fair, you've obviously taught him," he replied.

I glanced around seeing that the two last possible spaces were between Quil and Embry or next to Jacob. Not wanting to deal with everything right now, I chose the former. As I sat down, I turned to Embry and said: "Touch any food on this plate and I'll stab you with my fork." He grinned at me. Jared screamed out then, thankfully taking the attention and everyone's eyes off me. He had somehow managed to lose twelve-three, scoring three own goals. Seth jumped up, punching the air and laughing before swapping places with Quil, who bet Jared ten dollars that he would win by at least five goals.

"Want some food?" I gestured to my plate.

"No thanks, I had some earlier," he said. Embry made a sound of protest.

"So he gets your food but I'm not allowed any?"

"Dude, this is your third plateful," Jacob said. "Seriously, how much do you eat?"

"I'm a growing wolf."

Jacob shook his head, turning to watch Quil thrash Jared, catching my eye as he did so. He smiled weakly and I immediately focused my eyes on the plate of food. From the corner of my eye, I could see he looked hurt which made me feel terrible. I didn't mean to be such a bitch to him, especially when it should've been him mad at me, but I couldn't help it. Putting my fork down on my half eaten plate of food, I stood up.

"I'm not feeling too great, I think I'm going to go for a walk."

"Want me to come with?" Seth began getting up but I shook my head.

"It's fine, I just want to clear my head a bit."

When I got outside into the biting autumn air, instead of heading off down the side of the road towards the beach, I crossed over into the densely packed cover of trees that led to the La Push and eventually, Forks forest. Slipping out of my clothes and tying them to my leg with the small black cord I allowed the familiar tremors of change to wash over me, pulling my mind and body into the wolf-self that was always settled just below the surface. As soon as I was on all fours, I felt the presence of someone else at the back of my mind, not talking but just there. Paul. So he did end up shifting.

_You better have come to apologise to me. _He growled it yet there was no real force of anger behind the words.

_Don't flatter yourself princess, I'm just here to run. _I said.

He was silent after that although whether it was because he was still mad or like me wanted some peace I didn't know. This weird new mental communications was pretty much one of the best things to happen since I turned wolf, with my thoughts only being shared with my brother and best friend. It meant I could mentally insult the rest of the pack as much as I damn well wanted to without having to worry about being bitten though Jake and Seth still tended to reprimand me at times. However, sometimes if you weren't paying proper attention, the mental wall would break and the pack connection turned back to the old days. That happened now. Focusing so hard on my own thoughts, I accidentally let Paul in, showing him nothing of real importance just flashes of my position in the forest.

_You're getting pretty close to the Cullen's _he observed.

I was going to snap something back at him until I realised that I really was too close, nearly in their back garden. I caught glimpses of the house through the thinning trees over my right shoulder. Paying so much attention to what was behind me I almost ran into a group of people in front of me. Well, not exactly people judging from the crystal light display they were putting on with their skin. I managed to skid to a halt before I knocked into them and they took a few steps back, hissing at me threateningly. But I wasn't paying any attention to them because near the back of the group was a tall man with sun-kissed olive skin and a mess of black hair. He was staring at me with curiosity, unlike the rest who looked openly disgusted at my presence.

It was my vampire. Well, technically it was someone else's vampire but he should be _mine. _I felt a fierce aching that I hadn't since I'd last seen him. Surely this was an imprint, it had to be. What other explanation could there be for the way I was feeling? Then again, I only ever felt this way when I was close to him so it couldn't be an imprint either. My musings were cut short as one of the hissing vampires launched themselves at me; it seemed that I'd taken a few unconscious steps towards them whilst I was thinking, which they'd seen as a threat of attack. By the time I began to react, his teeth were already mere millimetres away from my neck.

Crap. Jacob was going to kill me.


	7. Change of Plan

If Paul hadn't have been there, I think he probably would've managed to bite me. Thankfully, despite the fact that we fought constantly and got on each other's nerves, he had my back. I must've been so focused on the vampire - I should really learn his name seeing as I've developed a freaky wolf-claim - that the mental wall had stayed down, allowing Paul to see what had been going on. He sailed past, knocking the vampire to the side while I yelped and shrank back, trying to convey with my body that there was no threat. It didn't help that we were their natural enemy and that Paul was backing slowly towards me growling a warning. The vampire stood up, his face twisted with fury. Before he could throw herself at us again, the vampire darted in front of him, placing his hands on his shoulders.

"Amun, stop! I don't think they want to hurt us," he said.

"Really? One of them tried to attack us and the other actually did. Be sensible, Benjamin, we need to defend ourselves against them."

_Benjamin. _His name was Benjamin and he was trying to defend me against this Amun person.

"They're friends of the Cullens."

When it became clear that they were going to be bickering for awhile, I turned to Paul. _I'm going to phase so I can get this sorted out. Stay here and try not to offend anyone. _

_I don't think that's a good idea. That leech looks like he wants to tear a chunk out of us, it's too dangerous to be walking around as a human. _He surprised me enough that I stopped walking away. I thought he would've come up with some witty retort but instead he seemed genuinely concerned.

_I'll be careful _I managed to promise after a minute. Moving into the cover of trees a little way away so I could still clearly hear what was being said without being seen, I quickly shifted and changed before hurrying back, hands outstretched in a calming gesture. Paul saw me first and moved into a protective stance, which was totally unlike him and the vampires noticed I was back shortly after.

"The wolf girl, I presume?" One of the unknown vampires said with sarcasm.

Paul growled but I gritted my teeth and ignored him. "Yes. Look, I wasn't trying to attack you earlier. Why'd you think I stopped running at you? I just lost concentration."

"And him?" Amun asked, waving a hand towards Paul. He growled again, taking a step forward. I pushed him back, glaring.

"He's an idiot but generally okay." He nudged me with his head and I shoved him back. "I think he was trying to protect me."

None of the vampires looked terribly convinced but after a murmured conversation between Amun and Benjamin that even my sensitive ears couldn't perceive, they all left to continue their hunting trip; I could tell from the pitch black of the usually blood red irises. Ugh. That was disgusting, preying on innocent people, draining them until death. If Jacob hadn't have imprinted on that thing - I still refused to give her a name - then we wouldn't have to deal with all this crap, a lot more people around here wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't have to spend all my time protecting the bloody thing. Sure, I didn't have anything better to do with my time but a choice in the whole matter would be nice.

I shook my head at the retreating backs of the leeches, facing towards Paul who was already running back towards the La Push side of the forest. "Yeah, thanks for all the help! You can go ahead and leave now!"

"Talking to yourself. The first sign of madness." I swivelled round to see Emmett, casually sprawled across a low hanging branch of a nearby tree as if it were a comfy couch. He sprang down to stand a little way away. "C'mon, Carlisle wants to see you. Now."

"Is that an order?" I said.

"No, it's a request," Carlisle appeared at his 'son's' elbow. "Although I'd understand why you'd be confused, Emmett you really should be more polite, especially to ladies."

He snorted at the ladies part, obviously not considering me as one. Which was pretty accurate actually as even I didn't think myself a 'lady' but he didn't have to be a dick about it. Carlisle was, as ever, being completely charming. He had one of those easy smiles that came from years of reassuring patients, making it difficult not to trust him. Of course, I was in the know about his so-called camping trips which tended to involve draining bunnies so found it much easier to not to be taken in by his disarming smile and handsome features. Because he was handsome. You'd have to be an idiot not to notice even if you were sworn enemies. Light blond hair that turned a glowing gold in the infrequent patches of sunlight, reflecting the fragments of unnervingly pale glowing skin and caramel coloured eyes darkened by lack of 'food'; everything about the vampire was light. That's why I was so conflicted about Carlisle. He was the only vampire I could think of as anywhere near good. He'd help Jake to recover before and, as grudgingly as I would admit it, he was extremely useful to have around when things went wrong. Casual acquaintances was still as far as our relationship went.

"What do you want to see me for?" I said, bristling immediately. If it was another request for blood for another of his damn experiments I think I'd hit him.

Carlisle gave Emmett a look that clearly said it was time to leave. He heaved a sigh and before I could blink was gone, nothing but a slight ruffling breeze and lingering stench to suggest he'd been here at all. "I couldn't help but notice your distress and quick departure yesterday. Jacob said..."

"What did he say? He had no right to say anything!" How dare he go behind my back and to a vampire too? When I get back to the rez, I'm going to kill him. Carlsile put his hands up in what was intended to be a calming motion. It didn't do much to quell my anger.

"He just told me what I'd already guessed. About the vampire you saw. You think you imprinted?"

I was about to tell him to mind his own bloody business and that I had better things to be doing with my time then hang around with a leech but I managed to stop myself. Maybe he could tell me something useful like how the whole vampire-werewolf imprint was completely impossible. At least then I would have at least one less thing to worry about. "I...I don't know. It doesn't feel like the others described it. Jacob, Sam, Paul, they all said it was this instant, overwhelming feeling and afterwards all they could think about was their imprint. The instant overwhelming feeling I got yet afterwards...it's like the love gets switched on and off."

Carlisle seemed to ponder this for a moment, a frown creasing his forehead. "Well so far my research has been inconclusive but this information could help. Maybe a blood sample would be better..."

"Woah, woah. We've talked about this. No blood. And you've already started researching?"

"Yes, I wanted to do anything I could to help."

I really hated it when vampires surprised me. It didn't happen very often, years of un-living kept them with a pretty much constant personality. With anyone else, leech or not, I would've snapped at them but once again I had to force myself not to. Carlisle's face was so earnest and caring, I had to look away. Dammit. Now I knew what Jacob meant about letting the vampires under your skin and into your head. He was trying to help me. Which was what Jake had been doing too.

"God dammit, now I have to go apologise to him," I muttered.

"I'll let you get on with that then and I'll call if there's any developments with my research," Carlisle smiled, walking away at human speed.

"Wait!" He turned back to me, still smiling. "Thanks doc."

His grin widened then and he nodded in acknowledgement, knowing how difficult it was for me to accept his help. I decided it would be much smarter to jog back to the river that split through the forest, marking the invisible line between the wolves' territory and the Cullens', in human form rather than risking some other bloodsucker creeping on me whilst I stripped. Plus, it would make the trip back home much longer which would put off my apology to Jake. Which was something I was definitely not looking forward to. Slipping into wolf form, I tried to push all my jumbled thoughts to the back of mind in case there was anyone else running around on four legs; thankfully, it was silent. The run back to the house was a short one yet, in true La Push form, it began to tip it down, my fur matting and the clothes tied to my leg dripping with moisture. Despite the unusually high body temperature that came with being a wolf, I was shivering by the time I made it home.

"Is that you Leah?" I heard Seth call from the living room accompanied by the sounds of Embry laughing and Jared groaning. So they were all still here. Great.

"Yeah it's me." I barely managed to push the words through my chattering teeth.

I found the living room to be much emptier than it had been earlier, with only Seth, Jared, Embry and Paul having remained. I had been hoping that Jacob would still be here, saving me from having to embarrass myself in front of Billy Black too. Embry finished his game with Jared, smirking cockily over his win and looked over to where I leant against the door frame. He quickly averted his eyes, coughing. I frowned at him.

"What happened to you?" Seth asked at the same time Paul said "getting desperate are you?"

"What the hell are you talking about Lahote?" He just pointed to my top. My white top which had turned clear with the rain, sticking to my slim frame and showing not only the hard lines of my stomach but the black lacy bra from underneath. I quickly crossed my arms over my chest. Paul laughed, Jared just stared at me and Seth glared at Jared. "Stop drooling Jared, you're embarrassing yourself."

He opened his mouth to protest but I had already began to walk away to change, smacking into Jacob's chest. Damn he was getting taller. It was hard to believe he was five years younger than me; I barely reached his chin. He took a step back, catching my arm to steady me, pressing his lips together to stop from laughing. "You look like a drowned rat."

"Glad you think it's so funny," I scowled, catching a look at myself in the mirror. I did look terrible. My jet black hair was plastered to my cheeks and forehead at the front and sticking up at all kinds of angles at the back. There were still small droplets of water clinging to my eyelashes which dislodged themselves when I blinked, running down my face like small rivers. Then there was the state of my clothes. The shirt was slick against my stomach but the denim shorts were already beginning to dry, becoming stiff and uncomfortable. "Ugh, you're right. I'm going to get changed." I pitched my voice lower, adding: "then we need to talk."

Jake nodded and gestured to the stairs. _Shall we go to your room? _It made more sense, though I could feel the eyes of the pack on us. Screw it. I grabbed his hand and yanked him upstairs, stopping when we got into my room. I let go of his hand and he just stood there awkwardly. "What? First time you've been in a girl's room?"

"Shut it," he blushed showing his discomfort. I rolled my eyes.

"Well I'm going into the bathroom to get changed. Don't wreck anything while I'm gone."

He gingerly sat down on my bed and I laughed at him, closing the door behind me. On the way to the bathroom I met a face I would be happy if I never saw again. Sam. I was too busy making fun of Jacob to hear him come in. "Hello Leah. I need to talk to Jacob, Seth said he was up here."

"He's busy," I said shortly.

"Well this is important."

"So is what I have to say." Sam tried to get past me but I backed up straight to the door. "You're not going into my bedroom!"

"What's the problem? I've been in there before."

I immediately stiffened, blood rushing to my cheeks, staining them a dark red as the images of all the times he had been in my room came to the front of my mind. Most of them included very little clothing. "Well things are different now."

Jacob suddenly emerged behind me, yanking the door open so fast I fell against him. He grabbed my waist to steady me and Sam glared at his arms until he removed them. "Sam."

"Jacob. We need to talk. The Cullens think that the Volturi may be a matter of days from attack and we need to talk strategies, being the two Alphas."

"Okay then, I'm ready now if you are. Leah, you come too. You are my Beta," Jacob added, seeing my expression and completely misreading it.

Instead of getting changed with the relaxing thought of having things finally sorted with Jacob, I now had the luxury of quickly pulling on my clothes to the knowledge that as soon as I left the bathroom, I'd be stuck in a room with Sam discussing how to save the devil spawn. Brilliant.


	8. Butter Me Up

**Okay, so I want to start off by saying thank you for the lovely reviews and I am so sorry that it has taken me months to update. I thought that a long summer would give me the perfect opportunity to get some writing done but unfortunately family issues have prevented that from happening so again, really sorry! Hopefully my updating should be a bit more regular now, I'm already working on the next chapter which should be up sometime within the week. Enjoy this one!**

One of my favourite things in the world is coffee. I could genuinely live off coffee for the rest of my life and not miss eating or drinking anything else. It makes everything perfect, whether it's getting rid of a hangover or giving you a burst of energy after a long day. Of course, if you're a wolf and can't actually get drunk or already have more energy than you know what to do with, coffee is also the perfect excuse to get out of a meeting with a bunch of people you would rather die than be sat with for four hours. The meeting had started late afternoon and stretched on until early evening. The sun had sunk low in the sky until only a fraction of it remained, filtering through the densely packed trees around the Cullen's house. That had made it all the worse, when they'd told me the meeting would be at the leech's crypt with a handful of vampires present too. As much as I hated to admit it though, the sunset was gorgeous when seen through the glass wall that made up the back of their house.

"Why do you think we chose this house?" A voice said behind me. Edward Cullen.

"So you could sparkle in peace?" I snapped back without turning. He knew how much I hated it when he read my mind. This thought just made him laugh harder. I briefly considered wolfing out and lunging for his throat but thought better of it. He would see it coming. "Is there something you wanted or are you content with pissing me off?"

"I actually did want something. To thank you." At my blank look he continued. "I know you're not the biggest fan of my family-"

"Understatement," I interrupted.

"-so I wanted you to know that I appreciate all that you're doing for us," he finished.

That was odd. Everyone in the pack hated Bella and the Cullens, with the exception of my baby brother and Jake. Sure, I voiced my opinions on them more loudly and frequently than the others but still, why would he single me out? Maybe it was because I was Jake's beta though surely he would be telling the same thing to Paul too. I realised that Edward could hear all of this yet when I looked at him, his face was almost...sympathetic.

"Oh my God," I said. "This is about the vampire. Look, I may have imprinted on him, I may have not but it is none of your business-"

"That's not what it's about. Well, sort of. It is about Benjamin. I was really being nice to you because Jacob said it would help, as he put it, to 'butter you up'."

"You know what, one of these days I'm going to kill that kid. So are you going to tell me what's going on or continue being cryptic?"

"Benjamin's back and he's in the meeting."

Brilliant. My earlier thought of 'this day couldn't possibly get any worse' was an actual thought and not a challenge yet as usual the universe has seen it fit to prove me wrong. This day was going to rival that of one spent in hell. I considered telling Jacob I felt ill and fleeing but I'd already done enough running away to last me a lifetime. I was going to face this head on with full bitch-Leah turned on. I turned to Edward who was once again smiling.

"Full bitch-Leah?" He said.

"Shut it bloodsucker, I could still go for a good throat-lunging. Well, let's get this over and done with." I went to open the door and step into my own personal hell when a thought occurred to me. "Wait, why did you come out to tell me this? I mean, was Jacob stupid enough to think that it would sound better coming from you?"

"Not better, he just seemed to think that you'd be less inclined to rip my throat out." He studied me for a second. "I guess he was wrong."

We both shared a brief smile at that before I decided things were weird enough already without Edward and I actually getting along and turned serious again. Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I opened the door and slipped inside. They'd decided that the best place to meet was the downstairs study - how many studies did they need? - because it was cool enough that the wolves wouldn't boil alive and there was enough light to work in without some of the vampires complaining. It was actually quite small compared to other rooms in the house, cosy almost, with the dark wooden panelling and musty smell of century-old books. There was even a small fireplace nearest to the head of the unnecessarily elaborate mahogany table. It seemed that nearly everything the Cullens owned was overbearing in some way, like the large white vases above the mantelpiece, inked with blue swirls of dancing women.

The room was filled with the quiet murmuring of several voices, split off into small groups. The divide was very clear. On one side of the table sat Sam, Paul and Jacob, Paul pausing the conversation every few minutes to shoot a disgusted look towards the other side of the table, where most of the vampires sat. By the back window, admiring the sunset just as I had been a moment before, was my vampire. His face was dimly lit by the dipping sun and the last burning embers of the fire so I was able to see his eyes, now returned to their usual blood red. He glanced over as if he noticed my stare and I looked away quickly, walking over to where the pack sat.

"You okay?" Jacob whispered, aware of the many sensitive ears that could be listening. I just nodded in response.

I could feel someone looking at me from the corner of my eye and turned to see Benjamin frowning at me intently. He gave an apologetic smile when he saw me notice him and glided over. Seriously, these vamps were creepily graceful. I mean wolves had much better balance than ordinary humans but we still tripped over stuff and bounded about the place. That was warm, it was familiar. This was just scary.

"Excuse me, but I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment."

He'd come over. He'd _actually _come over to speak to me. His voice was so smooth, his eyes gleaming slightly with what looked like amusement, the sharp edges of his teeth biting down on his flawless skin. And the _smell. _He smelled wonderful, like deep, exotic spices and a warm day, strong enough to lean closer and inhale but subtle enough that it wasn't over powering.

_Stop it Leah! _I screamed at myself, smoothing my face over into a disinterested mask. _Do NOT think about how he smells, that is too creepy to comprehend. Vampire bride obsesses over how the leeches smell and you will not be like her._

"Of course," I replied politely although I could feel the other three tensing up next to myself. I shifted my body away from them, trying to give us the illusion of privacy.

"I just wanted to apologise for our...incursion yesterday." Holy crap he looks good. I can even forget the blood red eyes when he's looking at me like that, slightly bashful with a lopsided grin. "And for Amun. He shouldn't have been so defensive, he just worries about his...family."

I noticed the slight trip over the word family but was too busy trying to breathe normally to spend much time pondering over it. I forced a smile onto my face. "No problem. A lot of people would freak out if they saw a huge wolf running towards them. Not that we let people see us because it's all very hush hush, I guess like vampires except with the biting because that's just really not my thing." _Shut up Leah, shut up!_

"Good to know," he laughed. There was a small cough from across the room and we both glanced over to see his 'family' looking at us curiously. "Well, I should get back, the discussions will be continuing again soon." Ben turned to me, smiling a smile that would've turned me to a puddle before the change. "Hopefully I shall have a chance to speak to you soon..._Leah._"

The way he said my name rendered me unable to do anything more than give a squeaky bye. _Leah. _God his accent was sexy. And his skin; the tone was gorgeous. I think he came from Libya. Or Egypt. Somewhere in the north of Africa at least. The rest of his vampire group were about the same colour, though the one with her arm wrapped possessively around him who was shooting me odd looks was a few shades lighter. They were all, like every single bloody vampire in the world, absolutely perfect. I mean, from an objective point of view. Looking like George Clooney's hotter brother didn't erase the fact that they enjoyed snacking on the odd human here and there.

"Jeez Leah, do you want to make it any more obvious that you're in love with him?" Paul smirked, snapping my attention back to the wolves. I opened my mouth to send back a retort but Jacob got in there before me, smacking him hard around the back of the head.

"Look Leah, if you want to leave I understand," he said to me.

"No, no. I'm your Beta, I should be involved with this sort of stuff. It's my duty." He smiled at me encouragingly and I once again thanked God for finding such a good friend in Jacob.

To be honest, it all went pretty quickly after that, although that may have been because I didn't really do anything. Each vampire group had a representative who spoke for them - though some were louder than others - and Sam and Jacob represented the two packs; Paul and I were more back-ups. I felt like a proud parent watching Jacob argue with the rest of them, refusing to be ignored just because Sam was older and had a bigger pack. And he deserved it. Not only was he the great-grandson of Ephraim Black, true pack alpha, but also imprinted on the very girl we were trying to protect.

It was around midnight when we finally left the Cullen's and frankly, I was relieved. The cool evening air was a vast contrast to the stuffy, overcrowded study and changing into wolf form felt like bursting out of tight clothes. We'd finally managed to agree on the basic logistics of the Volturi's visit as well as proper hunting grounds and brought the other vampires up-to-date with our treaty. The vampires hadn't really cared about the werewolves, telling us we were wanted to fight but could organise ourselves however we liked. Apparently it had been a pretty successful evening; I'd managed to zone out for most of it. On the run back, all our heads were buzzing, Sam and Jacob's were all business, still discussing how we'd all work together, Paul's yearning for Rachel and mine thinking about what I'd have for dinner, whether I should bother picking up a college course and if Seth was doing all his homework. Basically, anything apart from the ruby-eyed vampire who was starting to keep me awake at night.

_Keeping you awake at night? Someone's got it bad. _Paul commented, with a voice that meant I could practically see him smirking.

_And that wasn't you worrying about how much time you've spent away from your little Rachey? _I felt kind of bad saying that; I actually really liked Rachel and knew she was having a hard time being back in La Push after everything with her mom. Still, it was satisfying to hear a growl rumble through his jaws.

_Will you two stop acting like children? We have a big few weeks in front of us and I need everyone working together. _Sam mind was quickly flicking between tactics and being mad at us and protecting Emily and would she be worried he was out so late. God, they were all so whipped.

_Hey, at least our girls aren't evil blood sucking demons of the night! _ Paul chose to retort.

_Paul, enough. _Sam interrupted before I could get really mad, which was a bit of a shame; I hadn't had a proper fight in ages. _Now both of you get home and get some sleep. I want the entire pack meeting at 8am sharp tomorrow morning to go through tonight and our plans. _

It was only after we were at the small fringe of trees opposite the row of houses that constituted as home and I had finished changing that I realised the problem with Sam's plan. I quickly ran after him, finding the three boys a little way away.

"Sam, Seth isn't going to be able to make it tomorrow until after four."

"He'll have to. This is important Leah, I thought you'd understand-"

"Of course I understand, I'm not an idiot," I interrupted, ignoring Paul's snort. "But it's a Monday, Seth's got school."

"Well I'm sure he can skip." The look on my face made him sigh. "This is more important and besides, he can catch up, he's smart."

"Some stupid fight is not more important than his education!" I exclaimed.

"Leah-"

"He is not missing school and that's final Sam."

"I'm alpha Leah, and that means-"

"Hang on a second," Jacob interrupted calmly, though he looked pretty annoyed. "I think you'll find that I'm Seth's alpha. He can have the day off for school tomorrow but he'll have to be briefed afterwards and spend time practising with the others. Don't worry; I'll make sure he has enough time for his homework."

I smiled at him, so glad that he was in my corner. Seth completely idolised him and Jacob took on the role of his big brother a lot of the time, looking out for him both in his normal and pack life. Sam scowled at the both of us before storming off without another word, Paul following closely behind. Great. Now I'd have him bitching at me for the next few weeks, as if my life wasn't stressful enough at the moment as it is.

"C'mon, I'll walk you home," Jacob said.

"I literally live across the street," I pointed out. "Pretty sure I can find my own way."

"Can you not just accept that I'm trying to do something nice and shut up?" He sighed. I put my hands up in surrender before remembering something that Edward had said to me earlier and reached to slap him on the arm. "What the hell was that for?!"

"'Butter me up'? Seriously Jake? I'm not a piece of toast."


	9. The Truth

"Leah, stop it."

"But I am. I really, really am."

"I swear to God if you say sorry to me one more time, I may just throw this plate at you."

"The plate that you ate the dinner that you had to cook off of on a school night when you should've been...hey!"

The dinner plate sailed past my ear to clatter to the floor, stray pieces of pasta rolling off in all directions. I tried my hardest to look reprimanding and failed spectacularly, ending up laughing with him and throwing a pillow at his head.

"You're cleaning that up! And then straight to bed," I shouted, running up the stairs to my bedroom.

"But it's a school night and I had to cook my own dinner," came his reply.

"Don't make me throw another pillow!"

I could hear him laughing as he went into the kitchen. Despite his protests that he was fine making dinner, I still felt terrible. Mom had been spending more and more time around Charlie's recently, something that I didn't really mind as it seemed to be helping her cope with Dad and Charlie with all this extra crap his daughter decided to dump on him. The only problem was that with me out helping Jacob with pack matters, Seth was having to become more independent. Of course I knew he was fourteen and certainly able to do these things for himself but he had enough to worry about without having to help around the house. I had promised to make him dinner and leave it in the oven for later yet what with being pulled out of the house and trying to sort things out with Jacob, I had managed to completely forget. Which left him, once again, home alone, doing everything for himself. And I had a go at Sam for not thinking of Seth's education.

I opened up my laptop, a page for Washington State University still glowing from where I'd left my search a few days ago. For awhile now I'd been looking into college courses; I wasn't really sure what to do yet but I knew I wanted to do something. I couldn't spend the rest of my life working in the coffee shop down the road, I wanted to get a proper job. The only problem was that I still had Seth to look after; unless mom decided to come home a bit more I would have to wait until at least four more years to go. Although it made me feel guilty as hell, I thought mom was being seriously selfish. I understood that Dad passing was difficult for her, it was difficult for all of us, but she seemed to hate being in the house more and more, saying that she could still feel him there. Being at Charlie's made her feel better and I was happy she was starting to move on, yet we missed her. She was hardly ever home anymore.

"Washington State University? Has my sister been telling about that place? It's really not all that great y'know," said a voice close to my ear.

I screamed, whirling round and punching out, catching Jacob on his left cheekbone. He fell backwards against the bed, clutching his cheek and groaning.

"Okay, ow. That actually really hurt."

"What the hell do you think you're doing Jake?! How did you get in here?" I clutched at my chest, desperately trying to calm my pounding heart.

"I came in through the window. I wanted to talk to you. Obviously, you don't feel the same way."

"You sneaked up on me! What did you expect me to do, thank you? And anyway, I only saw you ten minutes ago."

He gave me a look and continued rubbing the sore spot on his cheek. Honestly, I doubt it would've even bruised but he seemed intent on making a big deal out of it so I grab his hand away and brushed my fingers across his cheek, probing at the cheekbone. "See? It's fine, stop being such a baby."

Unfortunately, Seth took this time to burst into my room without knocking (I really needed to get a lock on that door). He paused when he saw us, sitting close together on the bed with my hand on Jacob's cheek. I immediately pulled it back, opening my mouth to explain. He just put up his hands and walked out without saying a single word. I heard his own bedroom door close a few moments later.

"Brilliant. That'll be going round the pack by tomorrow," I sighed.

"What does it matter? They know Nessie's my imprint so...crap, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start with that, I actually came to apologise."

"Apologise? Shouldn't I be the one apologising to you?"

"No, it's definitely me." He furrowed his brow. "I'm sorry for pushing you so hard, with Nessie and Carlisle. I just...look, you'd say we're friends right?" He continued at my nod: "I've got you and Seth on one side, Sam's pack on the other and the Cullen's on the third. Our packs are starting to get better at working together, which isn't surprising seeing as we've known each other forever, but no one apart from Seth will even attempt to get on with the Cullen's. Like it or not, they're going to be a huge part of my life now I've imprinted on Nessie. And I thought that if you got friendly-"

"-then the rest of the pack would follow, seeing as I'm the most difficult," I finished for him.

"Well...yeah, I guess so. Although I'd probably have put it more nicely."

"What did I tell you about buttering me up?" He laughed at that before turning more serious, waiting for my answer. "Jake, you know I love you like you're my brother. Following you into the new pack was the best thing I've ever done; it's helped me to forget about Sam and made me happier. I _want _to help you, you have no idea how much. But...I don't know if I can. I _hate _the vampires more than anything else in the world. If it weren't for them, my dad wouldn't be dead right now, Seth and I and all the others; Quil, Brady, Collin, they wouldn't be wolves right now. If there were no vampires at all, none of us would be wolves. Seth would have a normal life. He could have a girlfriend without worrying about breaking her heart by imprinting."

"You and Sam would still be together," Jacob said quietly, saying what I couldn't. We're silent for a moment.

"I guess I could have dealt with all that, maybe if I really tried. For you. Yet out of all of them, every single vampire in the world, it had to be Bella's child. She just...I can't be near her, I just can't. Everything that's happened, everything we've been through, it's all been for her. It's like suddenly, not only am I some kind of a freak, a genetic dead end, but my whole world, my family's whole world, has to revolve around her. She screwed around with you for a year; you were a mess because of her. But even after all that, you still go back to her. You still try to protect her. You still give her a chance. And what does she do all this time? Keeps on stringing you along, acting all innocent and repenting when it all goes wrong. She made all the wrong choices, she took advantage of you, she had two guys fawning over her when I couldn't even have the one I wanted more than anything..." I took a deep breath, tears pooling in my eyes as I desperately tried to reign in my emotions. "...and I can't look at her daughter without seeing her. Without seeing my Dad dying for her, my brother forced into this life, my mom barely able to come home anymore. I've tried but I just can't do it Jacob, I'm sorry I can't."

Jacob reached his arms around me, pulling me tight to his side as I silently cried into his shirt. Getting all of that out felt good, therapeutic even. I was glad that he finally knew although I didn't think he'd leave the conversation here; he was serious about me getting to know the devil spawn. Once my shoulders had stopped shaking, the tears had dried up and Jacob's shirt was completely soaked through I sat up, wiping the remains of my mascara from my face. I couldn't force myself to look up at Jake and the silence that stretched on quickly grew awkward. Finally, he spoke up.

"I'm not going to ask you to make friends with Nessie or even spend time with her," he said thickly. I looked up at him now. "I never realised how strongly you felt about all this and I get it Lee, I really do. But can I ask you something else instead? Could you be...slightly less hostile to Nessie? She doesn't really get why you don't like her and I'm going to explain it all to her when she's older, whether Bells likes it or not, but just for now it would be a lot easier if you could, I don't know, ignore her. At the very least stop glaring at her?"

In normal circumstances it would seem so ridiculous that he would have to ask this that I had to laugh. "Okay," I said after a minute or two. "Okay, I'll ignore her. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, right?" He laughed at that too. The laughter soon stopped though and he followed it up with a long, scrutinising look that made me feel as if I were naked. "Look, it's getting pretty late and I've got to be up early to make sure Seth doesn't skip school."

"And for Sam's meeting," Jake reminded me.

"Damn, I forgot about that. Oh, and thanks for earlier. You know, for sticking up for me with the whole Seth thing." He waved his hands to show that it was nothing. "We never did get a chance to talk about the stuff with Carlisle."

"Or the other vampire," Jake once again reminded me. "It's fine, we can talk again tomorrow. Go for a walk up the beach or something after Sam's meeting."

"You really should stop calling it 'Sam's meeting'. It's yours too, and you're the true alpha. Plus, a lot of the negotiations today came from you, you should start taking credit for this stuff, you deserve it."

"Mmm, maybe. Look, we're both exhausted and have got an early start tomorrow. Let's get some sleep and we can worry about the other stuff later." He walked over to my window, shoving the glass up with a loud squeak. "Night Leah. Try not to worry too much?"

"I will. Night Jake."

After he left, I pushed the window shut and got changed into my nightwear, an old vest top and sweats. Just as I was shutting everything off and getting into bed there was a timid knock at my door.

"You can come in Seth," I called out. His head peaked around the door, a sheepish smile on his face. "It's almost two am, you have to be up in five hours."

"Sorry, I wanted to see if you were okay first. I kind of heard some of your conversation. I wasn't listening in, I swear, just overhearing it!"

"It's fine. And I'm fine, so you can get some sleep now."

"Both of you need to get some sleep." Mom walks into the room then, hands on hips and a stern look on her face. "Seth, how can you expect to do well at school if you don't sleep at all?" I smirked at him rolling his eyes. "And you can stop smiling miss, I hear you've got a lot going on right now. How do you expect to deal with it all on a bad night's sleep?"

"Mom, I'm almost twenty-"

"I don't care how old you are! My roof, my rules. Now, get to bed!" Seth rolled his eyes again and, kissing mom on his way out, left for his room. Mom came over and sat on the edge of the bed, stroking my hair. "I'm so sorry I haven't been around lately baby. I know I've been a terrible mom but I'm going to be around more, I promise. With everything you have to do at the moment, taking after Seth should be the last of your worries."

"Seth will _never _be the last of my worries."

"I know, I know. I mean it though. I promise. Now, you really need to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night mom."

I was too happy for a minute to consider how strange it was that she had suddenly done a complete 180. It came to me, as I was almost asleep, that Jacob really did do an awful lot for me.


End file.
